The Character Who Has It All Together

The price you pay for pretending.

I was having a pretty rough time in late 2023.

My life as I knew and imagined had unraveled.

The desire to curl up in a ball and just stop was very strong.

But I had made commitments and obligations that I needed to deliver on.

I also felt that I had to look like I had it all together.

I was in the middle of delivering a program with my friend Taki Moore and was doing weekly calls.

I’d turn up, play the part of someone who had it all together, turn off zoom and sit staring at the wall.

Spent.

I couldn’t even turn up a couple of times and Taki handled it….because he’s TFM….

One morning I was sitting with my buddy Dan and he said something that stuck:

‘You can either get it all together or play a character that has it all together. They lead to different places’

I wouldn’t have made it through that period without wise and caring friends that were ok with me being not ok.

I’m about to roll out some significant changes to the way I do business, make content, show up and deliver value.

I have a strong vision for why I’m doing it, what steps I’m taking and how I’m going to show up.

And I have absolutely no idea how it’s going to be received, how it will perform or exactly what will happen.

I’m excited and slightly nervous and I’m trying not to pretend otherwise.

As a long time coach, mentor, consulting, parent and creator it’s really tempting to fall into the trap of believing I have to always have it completely together all the time.

Getting it together doesn’t mean you’re hard charging, full of life, focused and on point 24/7.

It means you’re alive.

Alive in your own journey and have ownership of it.

Following your soul and the using the hard won skills you’ve acquired along the way.

Sometimes you’re confused, terrified, vulnerable and lost.

And it’s ok.

It’s part of the journey.

In the expert industries there are plenty playing a character who has it together on the internet while privately unraveling.

Terrified to stop pretending in case it harms an image they have crafted that has it together.

The harm this causes is immeasurable.

And people know.

They cant put their finger on it.

Yet they sense it and never fully engage.

You’re lying to yourself, you’re lying to them and everyone knows.

You get to choose everyday.

Be on the path that is yours with the high lows and everything in between.

Or pretend you’ve got it all together and pay the price.